


I Need to Talk to a Human

by felixies



Series: Marvel Headcanons [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bets & Wagers, F/M, Fist Fights, Gen, Robots, Stark Tower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 06:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3640731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixies/pseuds/felixies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only you held your tongue about his Ultrons. Never cross an angry Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need to Talk to a Human

“I need to talk to a human,” you mutter. You are in the gym with broken robots littered at her feet. “This is boring.”

“Miss, perhaps I can raise the difficulty that will better suit your skill level.” You take in a breath. Jarvis. 

“Jarvis, while I know you are ready to help, I need to talk to a human.”

“What is it concerning?”

You towel off. “It concerns the shoddy work done on these so-called practice robots.”

“My Ultrons are state of the art.” Tony walks into the gym with a duffel bag in hand. His sweat pants and black tank say all to his purpose being in there.

You scowl as you walk over to him. “Well they don’t seem state of the art to me. They suck.”

He matches your scowl. “Maybe you need a better opponent,” he says as he walks over to the ring. Once he is at its edge he opens up the ropes. “Come on. I know you’ve been dying to try your hand at me. I can see it in your eyes.”

You dislike his bold demeanor as you slowly walk into the ring. It’s time to take him down a few pegs. Tony smiles as he tosses padding. “That’s a good girl.” As You put on the equipment Tony is stretching and straightening out. “Don’t think about pulling your punches. I know how you get with Cap.”

You stare right through him. “How the hell do you know that?”

“You’re too calculated. I can read you like a book. He hates that by the way. Makes him think that you’re not treating him fairly.” Tony stands in the middle of the ring. “Jarvis, don’t forget to time each round. I want to this to be a regular match.”

“As you wish, sir,” Jarvis responds.

“It must get old having to work for a Stark, Jarvis,” You point out.

“It’s better than the alternative, miss,” Jarvis answers.

“What would that be?” You ask.

“Nonexistence,” Jarvis answers. The bell rings. Tony throws a punch. “That’s the signal for the first round.”

You block a punch from Tony. “Thanks for the warning.”

“Engarde, mon cherie,” Tony says. What he does not expect is your throwing a punch. As he blocks. Your arms grasp his body and slams him to the ground. 

“What is that being ready?” You ask. His legs wrap around yours, flipping you over and pins your arms to the ground. As he pulls back his hand, you kick off his legs, rolling away. 

“You’re a lot more spry than I imagine. Good to know,” Tony speaks salaciously. 

You roll your eyes. Tony catches your guard down and throws himself at you. Before he pins you the bell rings. “You got lucky, agent.” The last word spitefully says as he gets up and walk over to his corner.

“Come on, Tony. Win this,” Clint shouts near the ring. As You get up, You see the other team members standing around the ring. Clint and Bruce stand near Tony’s corner. You look over to yours to find Natasha and Thor. 

Sitting down, Thor wraps a towel and rubs your shoulders as Natasha hands you a water bottle. “Okay, don’t hate us, but we placed bets on this match.”

“You what?” You freak out. 

Thor answers, “We have seen your many matches and believe you will win with our help.” 

“What did you bet on?” you ask. The bell rings. 

“That will have to wait,” Natasha says. “Don’t let it get to your head. Just focus on winning.” 

Walking back to the center, Steve is standing clad in referee gear. Getting distracted by how tight the shirt is accenting his muscles, Tony punches you on the shoulder.

“Focus soldier and keep your mouth closed. Don’t want those pearly whites smashed in,” Tony jokes. Your eyes are filled with rage. 

“Alright you two,” Steve starts, “I want a nice clean fight.”

“You know it’s not boxing, right?” you snipe.

“Pin at a 5 count and you win,” Steve explains. 

“Any other rules?” Tony asks.

“Don’t hurt each other too bad,” Steve shows. Jarvis rings the bell. You quickly storm Tony, mounting his back and throwing him down to the ring floor. Trying to knock the wind out of him fails. Tony cuts into your side as you shrink in pain. He smacks your shoulder. You try to block, but one hit whacks on the side of your head. In the distance you hear Steve counting.

With one pull, You pummel Tony’s stomach, crushing him as You slip out from his grip. Trying to get up, You kick his legs out again as you batter his sides, returning the favor. Pinning him again, Steve comes by and counts. At the fourth count Tony throws you off him. You fly across the ring catching onto the ropes. Before you run towards him, the bell rings. 

At the break you sit with exhaustion. Natasha wipes you down as Thor hands you a water bottle. “You’re getting too sloppy. You won’t make it past the next round.”

“Tony however looks more worn out. He is not standing right,” Thor says.

“Attack his lower half. Can’t fight if he can’t stand,” Natasha says.

“You’re getting yout butt handed to you on a platter, Tony,” Bruce insults.

Tony swigs water. “Hope it’s silver. She’s agile. I’ll give her that.”

“You have the strength. Force her to the ground,” Clint demands.

“It will be my pleasure.”

The third bell rings as you and Tony walk back into the center. “Good luck,” Steve says.

“I don’t see the point of him here,” Tony says pointing to Steve.

“Me neither,” You agree. “Let’s do this.”

You strike Tony’s leg as he drops to the ground. As you jab, he wraps his arms around your waist and throw you to the corner. Your back pains as he picks you up. “It’s over.”

You grip his neck as your fist strikes his diaphragm. The wind knocks out of him. You mount him and puncture his wrists. Steve starts counting once you pin Tony. Without much counting, Tony throws his body back onto you. The bruises and the weight of his body was too much. You squirm to get out of his grip. Steve counts once more. “Say my Ultrons don’t suck.”

“They do.” Steve finishes his count and calls Tony the winner, but he does not get off you. 

“Tony you won,” Steve says. 

“I’ll let go of you once you say it,” Tony says. You still squirm, but exhaustion and pain is too much. 

“Fine Tony,” You admit. “Your Ultrons don’t suck.” You get close to him. “You do. Don’t blame the creation. Blame the creator.” He winds his fist back and throws it down right next to your face. You don’t flinch. 

He sighs and gets up. He picks you up and starts carrying you off the ring. “You’re so stubborn,” he mutters. 

“And you’re not?” you insult. Tony doesn’t answer. “Sorry,” you whisper. “Your Ultrons are fine.”

“The joints can be better,” Tony admits. 

“So what was the bet?” You ask.

“Losers cook all the meals for a week in maids outfits.”

You blush a bit. “Even Thor?”

Tony smiles. “Yup.”


End file.
